Marinating in Marin

Note: This was written in January, but has taken its time to get here -- it's so funny, I wanted everyone to see it. It's written by Chris.

The nights here are hot and steamy which kills my sleep patterns. I have tried about everything to get to sleep and after extensive research I have had to conclude alcohol isn’t a solution regardless of quantity – which is a shame as the rum here comes in five litre cartons for about 4 Euros a litre. So when I got up early today to get some boat jobs done I’d had only two or three hours sleep and it really told. Robbie our boat slave and I got up at seven to de-baton, disconnect and remove the sails ready for North to re-stitch them and replace the reef one block. This went pretty much OK except for the rather random folding up of the Genoa. We ran this over to North on a trolley and then started the generator service which was at best farcical.
The steps for a basic generator service are:
1. Warm engine
2. Drain oil (with a scavenger pump)
3. Change oil filter
4. Refill oil with 7 litres until dipstick shows full
5. Check anode
6. Drain off water from fuel filter
7. Remove rubbish from raw water filter and top up
8. Check V belt tension
9. Start engine and check all OK, then shut down and write up service in manual
Then you are done, total time 20 minutes.
Our sequence went:
1. Warm engine
2. Drain oil, fix scavenger pump several times as oil goes everywhere when it falls apart, realise not enough has come out from sump drain so scavenge through dipstick hole with wrong size pump attachment and lots of duck tape using several bottles for the oil and dropping about half on self and floor
3. Mangle old oil filter with filter wrench then have it fall off depositing hot oil contents into lap, partially fill new filter, reattach, decide not enough oil in filter so do again
4. Refill oil with about 9 litres and dipstick not showing full then realise sump valve still open and tray below engine now full of fresh oil
5. Shut valve, go to chandlers for oil absorbent mats (3) when kitchen towel exhausted, wipe up oil with mats and own body (not intentionally), go to chandlers for more oil absorbent mats (6), mop up more oil, find more kitchen towel and remove some of slime from arms, top up oil until dipstick shows full
6. Check anode, consult manual to make sure empty nut was in fact anode, find new anode and fit
7. Explain to bored family members that delay is unavoidable and absorb abuse
8. Realise new anode pushed plug of old anode or something else into heat exchanger
9. Open heat exchanger cleanout tube, find plug of salt/calcium not old anode, also find lots of bits of impellor, clean out all rubbish and scrape of calcium, look stupidly at worn out rubber gasket
10. Go to generator agents for gasket, none in stock – they say maybe a month, realise this is just a circle of rubber with a hole so try everywhere else in Marin, find rubber gasket with hole of same size and go back to boat
11. Drink 4 pints water to alleviate heat prostration from sitting in generator housing and alleviate incipient oil poisoning
12. Explain to irate marina space owner that can’t move yet because of impellor failure and absorb abuse
13. Open oil pump to check impellor, scratch head for while as impellor is perfect and realise bits are from first impellor that blew up and was cleaned out by delivery skipper
14. Drain off water from fuel filter
15. Remove rubbish from raw water filter and top up
16. Check V belt tension, find it’s much too slack, read manual and discover 2 simple steps to fix
17. Perform step 1 and remove top cover, then side cover, then back cover, realise that engine in nice easy diagram is as seen from behind which can only be accessed by squeezing entire body into impossibly small space while bruises form from sharp protrusions. Attempt to loosen bolt that is impossible to reach without tying a rope to spanner, dropping onto nut and passing rope under engine to pull and loosen bolt. Scrape knuckles and fingers raw
18. Apologise again from inside engine to bored family who are leaving boat for something more interesting to do
19. Loosen second bolt, move alternator to tighten V belt, get help to keep under tension while tightening first impossible one back up, after 10 minutes realise must be not on back revolving so won’t tighten.
20. Dislocate several bones so rubber arm goes through bits of engine to reach invisible unreachable back nut to hold tight while tightening impossible nut with spanner held in teeth.
21. Attempt for some time to disengage tools, arms and body from space using Californian relaxation technique to get muscles unspasming so flexible again
22. Sit confused on floor until red mist clears after head right way up again
23. Start engine to check all OK, realise more rubbish now in water filter, remove and refill, start engine again. Cover manual in oil and scrawled notes, throw clothes away as unwashable and have shower to remove oil.
24. 5 hours and ---- you’re done.